


Support

by CrypticGabriel



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cancer, Canon Gay Character, Coming Out, Family, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Nearly Terminal, Widowed, mentioned Shallura, middle aged, mixed-orientation relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-30 00:00:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16275062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrypticGabriel/pseuds/CrypticGabriel
Summary: It was the first time uttering this out loud. “I-I have a malignant tumor in my digestive tract. I’d been avoiding going to the doctor, and now it’s spreading. I think… I-I think I might die.”Hunk was silent at first. “Oh god… Lance I’m so sorry. I don’t want you being by yourself. Is there anyone else you’d want to be there? Anyone at all?”He immediately thought of someone in his head, his heart starting to ache. That man had broken his heart into a million pieces, and he was still trying to put it back together, even after all this time.“Why don’t you call Shiro?”Lance hadn’t spoken to Shiro in over twenty years.





	Support

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for the [Shance Support Squad](http://shancesupportsquad.tumblr.com) six months ago. I'm finally sharing it now after all this time procrastinating! I hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I probably should’ve mentioned that this fic takes place in 2008 lol

_Lance stared blankly out in front_ of him, listening to his doctor outline the different issues from his medical results. He’d only initially come in here because he’d been lethargic, nauseated to the point where even fasting the entire day would make him rush to the bathroom with little time to spare. He thought it was the flu. Or, well maybe it was a sickness of equal intensity. After all, he was in his early forties. Midlife woes were catching up to him.

Never in all his life did he ever even think of the possibility that he’d have a tumor.

It was still growing, taking over his insides and disrupting his organs. There wouldn’t be much time to get surgery, that is if he was willing to go through with it when the chances of surviving were slim. He could feel his throat tightening with a raw, mean attempt to force out a sob. But he needed to be strong.

“Is there anyone you know that will be there to help with treatment? Family… friends?”

He stared down at the ground. Most of his friends lived far away. He’d lost contact with his family long ago. There was one possible person he could think of, one that still haunted his dreams and filled him with a youthful giddiness as he remembered trying to survive college in the mid-eighties. Long nights studying, a 50-year founding anniversary, and a warm embrace enveloped in an old flame’s arms.

But that was all they were. Memories.

“No.” He shook his head sharply. “I don’t.”

\--

 _Upon arriving at home, he made_ phone calls to his job and his colleagues explaining that he was forced to work less while his health was declining, but he didn’t give them the cause of his abrupt absence. How could he? His odds of dying overtook the chance of survival. They shouldn’t have to worry.

He sat in his apartment alone, debating whether or not to get into contact with old friends. He didn’t want to do this by himself. Even if he were to die, he at least wanted to feel like he was loved or cared for in his final hours. Considering this brought himself to make some more phone calls. He was relieved that he could get a hold of his old friend Hunk, but unfortunately he now lived across the country with a family of his own.

“Hey, Lance! Long time no talk, huh? Everything okay?”

It stayed lodged in the back of his throat. “Hunk… There’s something I have to tell you, and I don’t want to be all alone. I’m scared.”

“What’s the matter?” Hunk sounded more concerned.

It was the first time uttering this out loud. “I-I have a malignant tumor in my digestive tract. I’d been avoiding going to the doctor, and now it’s spreading. I think… I-I think I might die.”

Hunk was silent at first. “Oh god… I’m so sorry. I don’t want you being by yourself. Don’t worry, okay? I’ll fly out there as soon as possible.”

“No, don’t do that,” he gasped, wiping his eyes. “Your daughter’s graduating this month. Stay home.”

“But Lance, you’re alone!” If they were in the same room together, Hunk would be giving him a frustrated pout. “Is there anyone else you’d want to be there? Anyone at all?”

He immediately thought of someone in his head, his heart starting to ache. He couldn’t resort to that, no matter how lonely he was. That man had broken his heart into a million pieces, and he was still trying to put it back together, even after all this time.

“Why don’t you call Shiro?”

Is Hunk _psychic?!_

“Are you crazy? Absolutely not.” He started feeling anxious about the idea.

“Lance, even if he says no, he’s the only one living nearby. Pidge is in the city, and Keith’s with me. Just… consider it.”

He hadn’t spoken to Shiro in over twenty years.

He looked on the internet for a little bit. Facebook was new, and it was a little scary knowing that someone could put their whole life out there online. But he’d gotten a profile anyways in hopes of meeting new people. He’d stopped trying to find a new boyfriend after his hair started turning gray. The young crowd wasn’t interested, especially since he wasn’t wealthy. It was hard to find other middle-aged men that were in his same situation.

In the midst of his trailing thoughts, he curiously checked if Shiro had one. Who was he kidding, _everyone_ had one. Even his twelve-year-old nephew had one.

He looked good. Well, Lance thought Shiro definitely aged better than he did. He had a splash of white in his forelock, his hair now graying much like Lance’s was, if not more so. He had this old, warm smile in his profile picture, and even if he was now closer to fifty than he was to forty, he was just as perfect as he was when Lance first met him.

But as he scrolled down on his computer, what he saw on his wall made his stomach flip.

In his latest picture, Shiro was holding a tiny baby in his arms with the caption, **“Proud Grandpa.”**

He was a _grandfather._

The cracks were starting to give way, everything turning into rubble around him. He had a family. Four kids. His oldest daughter had her first child. His youngest looked like he was a senior in high school. His wife was radiant, with long silver hair and a youthful face.

Lance didn’t need to barge into his life by asking for a friend by his side. Besides… long ago, Shiro was the one that dumped him.

Wait. His wife _was_ radiant.

She was in none of his recent pictures where he’d be posing with his children and with his daughter, who was still pregnant at the time. His children weren’t smiling with their mother and holding her in their arms. Was Shiro divorced? Was he widowed? He felt horrible for being hopeful that his old flame was single. What the hell was wrong with him?

He chose to abort the mission. He quickly closed out and took a nervous breath. He couldn’t do this. He’d be okay going through this alone. Yeah… He’d absolutely be okay.

He broke.

He wasn’t okay.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 _In freshman year, Lance remembered seeing_ Shiro one time. He was walking through the commons to get to his class, wearing sunglasses and slinging his jacket over his shoulder. Straight out of a fashion magazine. Lance was enamored by the way he looked, and when they first laid eyes on each other, Shiro slid the shades further down the bridge of his nose to get a better look. It made Lance blush as he waved and held his books. This was the first time that he actually felt attractive.

He figured that would be their only meeting, but he couldn’t be more wrong.

During summer break, Lance went to the movie theater on his day off from work. He chose to live closer to the university now that he was earning enough to get a place to stay with a few friends. The line for the theater was down the block to see _Back to the Future,_ and Lance was still at least fifty spaces away from the ticket booth.

In front of him in line, he saw Shiro. Well, at least the back of his head. He was talking and laughing with his friends, and the line was moving slowly but surely.

But then the worst news they could ever receive after hours of waiting to get inside, the line comes to a halt.

“Sorry, folks! All sold out!”

“Dammit!” Lance groaned and went to walk away in defeat.

“This is bullshit,” he heard someone mutter, and suddenly he was bumped into, the force making him fall hard.

“Ow!” As if Lance’s day couldn’t get any worse.

“Shit, I’m sorry!” Someone was pulling him up. It was the same voice he heard before falling. “I’m so sorry, are you okay?”

“I think so…” He rubbed his arm and looked up at the perpetrator. It was the same man that he’d absentmindedly been thinking about for the past several months. He couldn’t help but be in a daze. He was even more striking in person. “…Hi.”

“Hi,” he chuckled. “You sure you’re gonna be okay? That was a nasty fall.”

“Yeah.” He smiled shakily. “You’re… you go to my university.”

“I’m surprised you could point me out. There’s thousands of other students there.” He grinned and held his hand out. “I’m Shiro.”

“Lance.” They shook hands, and Lance could feel more blush rising in his cheeks. “It seems like we gotta come here at midnight the day before just to get tickets.”

Shiro laughed a bit. “So. Maybe if we can actually see the movie next time, would you like to join me?”

“Yes.” His response was immediate, and he tried to backtrack so it didn’t seem as impulsive. “I mean, sure. I’d be into it.”

“Cool,” he smiled. There was some hesitation. “I should get your number.”

He nodded quickly. “Uh-huh.”

Shiro reached into his jacket pocket and grabbed a pen. “Business major. My professors always told me you should never go anywhere without a pen.” He took Lance’s arm gently, holding it like it was this delicate thing. He then wrote his name and number down the length of it.

“Sweet,” Lance grinned as he looked at the number. He felt like he’d just obtained a lifetime achievement.

“I’d better get going,” Shiro sighed. “I’m with a group of friends. But whenever you wanna do something, don’t be afraid to call. Sound good?”

“Absolutely,” he smiled and waved. “Bye, Shiro.”

“Bye.”

Lance watched him leave, and despite being around disgruntled crowds leaving the front of the movie theater, he felt wistful just knowing that he had Shiro to talk to. When coming home, he’d hurried to write his number down and leave it by the landline with the housemates’ other numbers.

“What’s that look for?” Hunk was watching him and grinning.

Lance was smiling. “I might go on a date soon.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 _Lance washed his mouth out in_ his bathroom, still jittery and shaky after throwing up. He walked out feeling weaker than ever, and he shivered while lying down on the couch.

He’d had a couple rounds of chemotherapy, an attempt to keep the cancer cells from growing before surgery. They’d wanted to centralize it to one place so that he could have it. And after several months of going through this alone, he greatly regretted his decision to not contact anyone else for help, especially with not talking to Shiro or denying Hunk’s request to come and help him. But he was still positive that he could harden his skin and handle this alone. He wasn’t the only one in his situation, after all.

He went to grab his PC, his body shaking as he signed in on Facebook again. He’d been silent about his sickness ever since he’d found out. But for the sake of his family knowing, he figured it was the right thing to do to tell them. He only really had five or six friends on the website, most of them being his family.

 

**For the purpose of making a public statement, I figured it was best for me to leave a message behind. I’ve been very sick, but I’m working on getting treatment. I’m sorry that I’ve resorted to this, but I figured it was the right thing to let everyone know. Thank you for all your time.**

No one was going to respond. He left it there for people to see, and he was about ready to lock his account. But now he was lately growing more tired even when doing nothing. He could’ve sworn a notification popped up before he closed out, but he didn’t really pay any mind to it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 _Shiro’s wife passed away a year_ ago. There had been a lot going on over the past twenty-two years, including a promotion and a family to raise. One of the main factors of his breakup with Lance was the timing. His parents didn’t approve of their relationship, especially as more and more people were terrified of HIV.

He was a coward for not going back to him after graduating. Well… it didn’t help that he had gotten into a horrible accident that altered his appearance. Lance wouldn’t want anything to do with him, anyways.

Deep down, he truly did love him, even after he married Allura and even as he held his first baby in his arms. But like most things he couldn’t have, he had to get over it. So, that’s exactly what he did, but not a moment went by where he didn’t think about him.

He probably had a life partner. He was surely happy and safe. Maybe he adopted a child or two. Shiro wouldn’t know. He’d hoped that Lance had nothing but the best.

Since having his first child, he had three more after. Mina was his eldest, starting a family of her own. Ryu was in college, and he was living his own life in an entirely other state. He was following in his father’s footsteps and starting up a career in business. Ryu still kept in touch, though and made sure that he knew everything that was going on. He met back up with the rest of his family a few times a year. His other daughter Andrea stayed local in college, but she lived with a few friends close to campus so she could work closer to there.

And lastly, his youngest was Lucas. He was graduating high school in a couple months. Lately he’d been so distant too, but it wasn’t in the way that Ryu was. He made every effort not to really talk, and it looked like there was always something on his mind. No matter how many times he tried to pry, he couldn’t get anything out of him. It worried him, but he never pushed. He knew he wasn’t going to force it out of him.

“Dad, I won’t let you just lie around the house like this.”

His eldest daughter Mina was rocking her baby boy in her arms. His grandson… God, how time flew by.

“I’m not lying around,” he chuckled, running a hand through his hair as he forced himself up from the couch. He watched her expression change, squinting at him. She was just like her mother. “I’m not.”

“Hang out with a friend from work or something,” she insisted. “I can tell you’re lonely.”

He sighed and took a glance over at his computer. “Alright. Maybe I’ll find someone on Facebook, or something. But no one wants to go to a bar on a Wednesday night.”

She shrugged. “It wouldn’t hurt to look.”

“Alright, alright.” He laughed a bit and looked through his list of friends. Most of them he met through Lance. He was far more talkative than Shiro was.

He saw Lance come up as a related friend after a little while, and curiosity was starting to get the better of him. Lance was smiling in his profile picture, but it wasn’t genuine. He couldn’t see it in his eyes.

He looked weary, as most people do when they start aging. He wanted to take a closer look and started to check his profile. It felt strange to do so, and he felt like he didn’t belong.

But then he saw Lance’s latest post. Everything changed.

Lance was sick.

He was sick.

His vision started to blur. It felt too close to home. His wife had died of cancer. He didn’t know what he’d do if he lost Lance, even if he wasn’t his. He needed to talk to him.

Shiro hurried to type something out. He didn’t know what to say. Just that he needed to say it.

 

**Hey. It’s been a long time. Please give me a call as soon as you can.**

**XXX-555-6814**

He hoped he didn’t sound desperate.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 _In 1935, this wonderful university that_ brought Shiro and Lance together fifty years later was established. A founding anniversary party was set throughout the campus, and most students skipped their classes. Professors threw their hands up in surrender while deciding not to hold their absences against them.

Lance had shown up on campus expecting to do his classes today, but he quickly found out that all his courses for the day were cancelled.

Shiro was in the middle of the commons, insisting that they should play Sting on the stereo when the vast majority wanted Madonna. Lance didn’t mind Madonna.

As soon as Shiro saw Lance, his argument with the other guy ceased. He rushed over to eagerly take his hands. “Hey!” he grinned. “Enjoying the party?”

“I just got here.” Lance looked around. “I didn’t think everyone would be so interested in a founder’s anniversary.”

“Oh, absolutely,” he laughed and kissed him. “Well, since you’re here…”

\--

 _Shiro lived in the campus apartments._ His roommate Matt wasn’t here today, so they had the place entirely to themselves.

Shiro was able to play Bruce Springsteen in peace. Lance was able to make out with him on his couch. Life was feeling pretty good.

Lance gasped as his boyfriend dragged his teeth against his lower lip, making him squirm underneath him. He pulled Shiro closer, just wanting to feel flush against him. Going through summer break with him was the best feeling. And throughout the start of the fall semester, he knew easily that he could depend on him. He was going to miss Shiro once he’d graduate this year, but they were absolutely going to keep in touch.

As his hips pushed up, Shiro’s ground right back down, causing them both to moan. Surely, they were moving too fast. Surely, they should talk about this before jumping right in. They were young, this was crazy, but they were absolutely in love.

“Lance… are you…” Shiro looked down at him, his hair getting mussed from Lance playing with it.

He eagerly nodded. “It’s uh… getting late. I’ll see you again soon?”

“Please stay,” he insisted carefully. “If… if you’ll have me.”

“Of course, I will,” Lance smiled as he sat up. “Should we go to the bedroom?”

“Yeah.” Shiro led the way, and he kept looking back at him. “Now, you’re sure you wanna do this?”

“Mhm.” His smile grew wider, and he felt so excited! “Totally.”

They sealed this promise with another kiss. They stumbled a bit to get to the room. From in there, Lance could hear music and loud singing right outside. It was far from pleasant to the ear, but somehow being with Shiro made it more bearable.

With each kiss they shared, an article of clothing was removed. They weren’t wasting any time. At first. But the weight of it all was getting to him fast.

Before he knew it, he was bare in front of Shiro, and he felt kisses down his neck and shoulders. He tried to let the worry dissipate, but it was difficult to ignore it.

“Everything okay?” Shiro looked down at him warmly.

Lance gave him a shy nod. “…Is this gonna hurt?”

Shiro shook his head and gently stroked his cheek. “I’ll make this as painless as possible. Okay?”

He swallowed thickly, taking a deep breath. “Okay…”

Shiro was still giving him a pleasant smile, reaching over and grabbing a bottle of lube. Lance’s legs were spread wide after taking a moment to consider it. He couldn’t stop his limbs from shaking, both with anticipation and with nerves. It didn’t help that Shiro was big. Like, stupidly big. Part of him feared he wouldn’t be able to take him, but the other part was considering that a challenge.

His fingers were all slicked, and Lance held his thighs back to brace himself. When the first finger breached him, shivers ran down his spine as he struggled with the intrusion.

“It’s okay,” Shiro crooned, still carefully helping him adjust.

“Mnn.” He shook and panted out a shaky sigh, releasing some tension while closing his eyes.

It didn’t help that everyone and their mother was screaming the lyrics to _“Like a Virgin”_ right outside their window.

His second finger was a bit of a sting. He was growing less and less nervous regardless, taking it all in careful strides. He watched Shiro add more lube before he pumped them in faster. He could hear the wet sounds between his legs that made him feel flustered while Shiro’s fingers fucked him with earnest.

“Doing okay?” Shiro looked up, taking in the sight before him.

He nodded quickly. “Y-yes. Don’t stop…”

“But do you want more, Lance?”

“Yes!” he begged. “P-please.”

Lance could feel himself gaping. He could feel the tension forming in the air as they were about to take one more step closer. Lance was shaky. Shiro was shaky. Neither of them realized that the singing outside had long since stopped. That was until a sudden flash of light illuminated their room, followed by a shuddering bang.

_Fireworks._

“That can’t be legal,” Lance gasped.

“That’s your biggest concern?” He laughed a bit and looked at him. He was positioned right near his hole, his body still tense. “You’re still sure about this?”

He nodded. “I’ve never been more sure about anything in my entire life.”

He took a deep breath, still keeping himself braced underneath his boyfriend, his heart racing as another booming set of crackles resonated in his ears. Despite the initial burn as Shiro pushed inside him, it was so satisfying to feel him move in.

He bit down hard on his lip, looking up as he clung to Shiro’s large shoulders. He was pleading, doing his best to relax but he just felt so _full._

“Relax…” he hummed, kissing his forehead.

“Y-you’re so big…” Shiro felt hot and _raw._ His nails dug into his shoulders. He shook beneath him.

Shiro stayed still, careful with Lance and treating him like he was valuable treasure. He greatly appreciated how slow he started out.

When he slid back out to slick himself more with lube, Lance felt emptier than he’d ever been. Now all he could think about was Shiro getting back inside him and _staying_ there.

“Y-you can go,” he insisted, keeping a hold on him.

It felt much better with more lube, the squelching making him red-faced and dizzy. With each crackle and boom in the sky and bright flashes from the windows, he was caught off guard in between thrusts but in the best way. Everything felt so intense! He shook with each thrust, feeling them even in his throat.

He heard Shiro’s moans while his face was pressed into the crook of his neck. He felt completely enveloped by Shiro, and the only word that would come straight off his tongue was his name.

“S-Shiro, _Shiro!”_ He whined, his pulse quickening at another loud sound-off of a firecracker. He could reach the stars. He could practically taste the dust left behind from the comets that he’d spend late nights in his youth wishing on.

Lance reached down to stroke cock in time with Shiro’s thrusts. He was desperate, hungry, _aching._ He was racing to finish, but at the same time he never wanted this moment to end. It was all he could ever ask for.

“F-fuck. Lance,” Shiro gasped, his thrusts growing more erratic the hotter he felt. “Shit—I-I’m close.”

“Me too, me too!” he sobbed out and clung to him, catching pre in his hand while he rushed to his finish. The heat coiled and spiraled rapidly until it finally snapped, and he threw his head back with a loud wail, spilling out all over their chests.

He barely gave Shiro enough time to pull out. He was gasping as he forced himself away, stroking himself and littering his chest with more spunk. The air was heavy, the fireworks still going off outside. And as the sky dimmed with the last remaining sparks, the couple held each other in a rushed but loving embrace.

They were still lying in bed together hours later, after showers and generous drinks of water. The music came back, but much softer this time as the festivities waned. Lance felt so sleepy and sore, but Shiro was there to take away the hurt.

He felt a kiss in his hair and smiled warmly while nuzzling into his warm body. He felt safe beside him. Safe and warm… That was all he could ever ask for.

“I love you…” He said that without hesitation. He was weary, sure, but he knew deep down that he was in love with the man lying next to him.

He looked up, expecting a response, only to find Shiro fast asleep. He smiled gently and gave him a chaste kiss before situating himself back beside him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 _Lance stared at his ugly reflection_ in the mirror. His hair wouldn’t just fall out all at once like in the movies. He had bald patches, large clumps and disheveled tufts of hair scattered along his scalp. He felt like his face was aging more, writing off the sickly discoloration as a side effect of the chemo.

He missed his hair. His youthful hair that blew back in the breeze if he left his car windows down. When it was still brown and highlighted just slightly from the sun, he felt like there was nothing that could ever hold him back.

And now he was… _old._ And _bald._ Well at least, he would be if his body could just do _one thing_ right. He constantly felt like he would shut down. He felt like any minute now he could just close his eyes and pass away. He almost wished for it most days. He needed something to ease the hurt and suffering he felt daily with this condition that was literally eating at his insides.

He opened his PC for the first time in a couple weeks, in hope to check up on his work. His boss told him not to worry about it, but he always did.

His gaze shifted from window to window, going through articles for his work as well as different news on his Facebook wall. That was when something caught his eye. A notification button at the bottom of his screen.

It was from _Shiro._

 

**_Hey. It’s been a long time. Please give me a call as soon as you can._ **

 

That was several weeks ago.

Surely, he wouldn’t _really_ want anything to do with him. Maybe he read the message and felt sorry for him. Or maybe he was going to come tell him how wonderful and great his life was. Whatever the reason, he decided to ignore his message, closing out of the tab.

He was fine. He was okay doing this alone. He’d been okay all this time, being single and hooking up from time to time up until he was just too old to keep up with the dating scene. And that was fine with him. He didn’t _need_ him.

He didn’t need him.

He didn’t…

Lance’s lip quivered as he thought about how hard this sickness had been. It was incredibly hard, trying to fight when there seemed to be no reasons left to live. Why was he still fighting?

Besides, Shiro wouldn’t want to see him like… _this._ All sickly and skinny… the whole business with his hair. The bouts of nausea and nights that he lay awake in _agony._ He wouldn’t subject him to that.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 _Shiro hated himself for leaving Lance._ He was incredible… He made the summer and waning years of 1985 more bearable, especially with his senior year going by way too fast.

But then he came out to his parents during Thanksgiving break.

“His name is Lance,” he started to say, shaking all over from anxiety. “He’s a sophomore majoring in investigative journalism. He’s such a great guy. You’ll really love him, once you get to know him. Mom… Dad?”

“Takashi…” His mother was distraught. “You can’t be with… other men like that. It’s too dangerous. He’ll get you sick!”

“What?” He scoffed and shook his head. “No. That’s not possible. Besides, I’m the only one he’s ever been with.”

She was _horrified_ by that confession.

“Takashi!” His father slammed his hand down on the table. “I forbid this! If you want to continue going to school, you will do the right thing and leave him!” His mom was holding his shoulder, preventing him from growing more aggressive. “Besides, my friend from work has this lovely daughter. You’re sure to like her!”

“But I don’t want anyone else! I love him!”

They both looked mortified. His own mother and father…

“Shiro, you must just be confused…”

He couldn’t bear it.

\--

 _He barely gave Lance a warning._ He came back to campus with him waiting right in his room wearing one of his robes. He looked so happy to see him while Shiro was so tired.

“Welcome back, stud,” he giggled and reached out to wrap his arms around him. He stayed close, leaning in to give him a kiss.

Shiro didn’t kiss back.

Lance slowly pulled away. “…What’s wrong? Does my breath stink, or something?”

“Lance…” It hurt him so much to even think of saying it. “I can’t see you anymore.”

“What?” He stepped back, his hands faltering. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I _can’t._ I’m not allowed.”

He scoffed. “What, you need permission to date? We’ll just sneak around. It’s not like we weren’t doing that already.”

“Lance, I can’t do that. I’m sorry.”

“C-c’mon, Shiro… don’t pay them any mind. We have each other. We _love_ each other.”

Shiro’s breath caught in his throat. He had to look away.

“We… w-we love each other… right?”

He had to swallow back a hoarse whimper. He hated lying. He didn’t _want_ to lie. But at the time, he felt that his family’s love and support was more important. He _loved_ his family. He didn’t want to lose them. But he didn’t want to lose Lance either. Never.

“I…” He forced himself to shake his head. “I don’t.”

He saw the light die in Lance’s eyes. He embarrassedly went to grab his clothes, his hands shaking as he walked into the bathroom. Shiro didn’t stop him. He needed to make this a clean break, or he’d never do it. He’d never get over him.

And he never did.

Lance didn’t say goodbye. His lip was quivering too much to form words. He went right outside, and when Shiro went by the door to hear him leave, that was when he heard Lance crying.

It broke his heart.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 _And now, present day, Lance was_ very sick. He could be dying. He should be _there_ for him. He waited anxiously for a call. For several weeks. He waited and waited, fearing the worst daily.

“Hey, Dad?”

Shiro looked up when he heard Lucas. He’d been trying out his cap and gown. He looked handsome standing before him, and he couldn’t help but smile even through his weighted sadness.

“Does it fit okay?” he asked slowly.

“It suits you,” he murmured. “You just gotta fix your cap.” He carefully adjusted it for him. “There we go.”

“Thanks,” Lucas chuckled, looking up at his father. “Oh, uh… Dad?”

“What is it?”

He didn’t know what caused his son’s face to fall. He was staring up looking happy, but suddenly there was a twinge of fear on his face. He couldn’t deny it. “I-it’s not important,” he laughed off. “You’re gonna sit in the front row at graduation, right?”

“Of course, I will,” he smiled. “We’ll all be there.” He gently patted his shoulder.

“Great…” He trailed off with a smile and walked back to his room.

When he left the room, Shiro went to pick his phone up again. Still… nothing. He was so focused on that he barely noticed Mina come in.

“Dad, you’re not okay,” Mina sighed. “Talk to me…”

Shiro was still shaking, trying to fight the anxiety off on his own but it was not working. “Okay… no matter what I tell you, just. Just remember that I loved your mother very much.”

“…Did you cheat on her?”

“N-no, of course not,” he insisted truthfully. “Just… I’m gay. Or. I guess I’m bisexual at this point… a-and my first real love was a guy I met in college. Your grandparents forced me to leave him. I just found out that he’s very sick, a-and I…”

“Dad…” She reached over to hold his shoulder. “I’m really sorry. But there’s still time, right? You should talk to him.”

“I’m trying. I gave him my phone number weeks ago. He probably hates me for what I did, and I don’t blame him.”

“If he wants to talk, he will. But if you really think he doesn’t want to, then don’t beat yourself up over it.” She smiled gently. “Now seriously. Go out. Get a couple drinks. Relax…”

He sighed heavily. “…Fine.”

He stayed seated at the barstool, for now just ordering a glass of scotch. He watched the game and tried to clear his head.

Shiro needed to get over him. Lance made it very clear that what he did was unforgivable and he wanted nothing to do with him. He needed to face it.

The hurt was still there, in the pit of his stomach.

“…Shiro?”

His head perked up.

“Takashi Shirogane?”

He glanced back, seeing a familiar face giving him a shy but happy wave.

“Hunk.” He grinned and went to give him a hug. “Hey… How’re you doing?”

“I’m well,” he chuckled. “My daughter graduated high school. God, my kids are growing up too fast.”

“I’ll say,” he smiled. “My youngest son is graduating soon too. And my daughter had a son last month. He’s been my whole world since then.”

“Wow, a _grandfather?_ Congratulations,” he chuckled.

“Thank you…” He trailed off after a moment. “Have you… heard from Lance?”

“Yeah. I came out here to visit despite his request,” he grinned. “So, you know?”

He nodded. “I’ve been trying to get him to talk to me. I feel terrible. I don’t want him to be alone…”

“Don’t tell him I told you this…” Hunk leaned in close. “He misses you. Okay? He doesn’t like to admit it, but he does. And this is coming from me. He needs you to be there for him. He’s really hurting. He won’t call you. He’s too proud. You have to go to him.”

“How?”

“You go to his place, of course.” Hunk got a pencil out from his wallet and started to write his address down on a napkin. “Tomorrow, though. When you’re sober.”

Shiro frowned. “I can’t just _go_ to his house. That’s highly suspect.”

“Leave him a message first,” He chuckled. “Don’t be an animal.”

“Alright…”

When he got home that night, he went on Facebook before going to bed.

 

**Hi again. I ran into Hunk, and he said it’s a good idea if I come to see you. He gave me your address. I know, that’s really weird, but I want to come see you. I miss you.**

He felt a little weird writing that all out, but he really hoped that Lance would want to meet him. Or at least, he wanted him to at least read his message.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 _Lance didn’t go online until the_ next day, in the afternoon. He hadn’t eaten since breakfast. Yesterday. He just had no appetite anymore. Probably because of the chemotherapy. He’d just throw it right back up if he ate.

He looked at his computer screen with weak, bleary eyes. He’d just pulled out another clump of his hair during the shower this morning, and he’d finally stopped crying.

His attention went back to his screen, and a small but familiar notification was right there just _staring_ at him. He was nervous, but he read the message.

His eyes widened.

Hunk was a _traitor!_

Shiro was _coming? Today?!_ No, that couldn’t be real. This had to be some kind of joke. That phone number Shiro gave him probably wasn’t even his real number. It was probably some pizza place.

There was a knock on his door.

_Fuck!_

This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be real! He worked fast. His hair was absolutely horrible. “J-just a second!” He called and rushed up, feeling lightheaded. He stared at himself in the bathroom mirror, and he hurried to put one of his hats on, desperate to hide his patches. He tried to quickly put some makeup on. He did this when Hunk came over.

Hey, maybe this _was_ just Hunk. He felt a little more relieved as he went and opened the door.

He went rigid.

It wasn’t Hunk.

Time stopped.

Their eyes locked together. Lance felt unabashedly vulnerable, and he wanted to run and hide.

“Lance…”

He gasped at hearing his name on his lips. “Shiro.”

Shiro went to move closer, to give him a hug. Lance quickly pushed him away.

“No.”

“Lance, please.” He looked desperate, and as Lance stared at him he noticed a long scar on the bridge of his nose. “Let me explain.”

“You had over twenty years to explain,” he muttered. “What, now you want to visit because you feel sorry for me? I bet if I wasn’t sick, you wouldn’t spare me a glance.”

“That’s not true!” He stood at the threshold, refusing to leave. “I was a coward. A fucking coward. Okay? I let my family dictate who I can or can’t be with. I-I was a grown man. I could’ve just said no.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Shiro took a nervous breath. “I didn’t want to lose my family. It was either you or them. They meant everything to me. I know now that I made the wrong choice.”

Lance stared at him. He couldn’t help but feel like he was lying, especially since he hesitated.

“But… if I chose you, then I wouldn’t have my kids. My grandson… They’re very important to me.”

He couldn’t fault him for that. “I guess… everything happens for a reason. Right?”

“Don’t think of it that way.” He was so nervous. He’d spent all this time away from the true love of his life, and he couldn’t even begin with a proper apology. “I was wrong… to let them make that choice. But I did want to go back, after I graduated. They’d wanted me to stay away, threatening to stop paying for my school. But when I was done, I swear to you, I wanted to come back.”

“So, what happened?” Lance looked sorely unconvinced. “What made you change your mind? Another selfish reason?”

“I got… I was in an old building, during my first job, trying to work out negotiations for a renovation project. It was during a bad storm, and we could see the building starting to cave as we were all heading outside. I went back in to help a couple coworkers out, and I’d nearly got crushed.”

Lance noticed that Shiro was actively hiding his right arm. When he saw a metallic prosthetic in its place, he could now see why.

“Broken a few bones, as well. And my parents found out I was trying to go back to you. So, they shoved me into this date with a woman. This woman eventually would be my wife and the mother of my children… I… didn’t think you’d want to be with me when I’m like this and you’d see how I look now. So, I… let them win, effectively.”

He looked at him up and down. “Glad you wouldn’t let me be the judge of that.” He frowned. “You are so selfish.”

“I know…” Shiro sighed. “I know I am, and I’m sorry. But… so are you.”

“What?”

“You’re selfish, too,” he said. “You don’t want anyone else into your life because you’re so quick to judge that you’ll get hurt if you take the risk. You want to build yourself this fortress of solitude, for what? To die alone? Never mind me, you wouldn’t even let your _best friend_ stay by your side. You’re pushing everyone away and want to die alone. Is that _really_ what you want?”

Lance’s eyes widened. “Shiro…”

“What? Hit the nail right on the head, didn’t I?” He frowned.

“Shiro, don’t…”

“You’re probably thinking the same thing I thought, right? That I won’t find you attractive anymore? That I’d shy away from your ugly appearance?”

Lance flinched. Was that a hyperbolic example, or was Shiro really calling him ugly?

“Well, I’ll tell you something. My wife… Oh, you would’ve really liked her. You know what happened to her? She died from cancer. It ate her alive, made her life a living hell. Allura… s-she had the most beautiful silver hair. All of it fell from her head. Did I find her any less attractive? No. And I didn’t let her die alone, either, even when she wanted to push me away. She didn’t want to me to see her like that, but I stayed. I stayed, because she deserved to know how much I cared for her and how much I was going to miss her. And I still do, and it hurts knowing you’re being taken away, too. I-I can’t… I can’t let you die alone, Lance. Please.”

He watched Shiro break. He watched him cry and beg. He stood there, registering everything he was just told. Lance realized this wasn’t entirely a one-way street. They were both aged, broken men, with their own hardships and fears. Even if Shiro made the choices he did in their youth, he was here now. But was he here to stay?

No. He wasn’t weak. He wasn’t that young, stupid boy he was before. He knew better than to let Shiro in so easily.

“…Shiro, I can’t trust you.” It pained him to say that. “We’re selfish for entirely different reasons. My reasons were conditioned. I’ve made my choices with my head in the right place. Yours was because you didn’t want to fight for what you knew was right. You’re right. You _are_ a coward.”

“Lance…”

“Hunk is getting a very angry message for this. You need to leave.” He started to shut the door.

“Wait!” Shiro’s boot kept the door from being shut. He stood there, begging. “Please. T-tell me what I have to do for you to forgive me.”

Lance took a shaky breath. “There’s nothing more you could do.”

“I made a terrible choice. I know that.” Shiro sounded so desperate. “What do I have to do? Whatever it is, I’ll choose you. This time, I’ll choose you! I’ll prove to you that I’ll go straight to you. I promise. What do I have to give up? I’ll do it. Is it my old life? My job? …M-my kids?”

“Shiro… that’s not what I want.” Lance looked at him. “You don’t have to give up anything. I think… I-I think you realize how much you’ve hurt me. But putting me at a fault for _your_ choice was not how to convince me I should forgive you.”

He trembled and nodded. “You’re right. I-I’d just wanted you to see that I’d still be there.”

Lance had to think for a moment. “But you were right too. I gotta stop pushing people away. I could always just ask Hunk to stay. I don’t need you with me.”

He lowered his head, accepting defeat. “I know.”

“Shiro. Even if you’re late, I want you to just… stay. And I want to know that you’d stay. _Show_ me that you will. I want a support system, not a coward.”

He quickly nodded. “Absolutely. I-I will.”

“Right.” Lance watched him. “Of course, you will. Now, you need to leave.”

Lance didn’t believe him.

Shiro stepped back, ready to walk out the door. Lance needed his space. He needed to be alone.

Wait.

No, he didn’t.

And Shiro was hoping to think of a way to make it up to him. To really show him he was sorry. It wasn’t enough to admit he was wrong. He had to make it right. And he knew just how to do that.

His parents were still alive.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 _Lucas was now done with high_ school. His other two children were home from college. Mina already knew, but she said she was willing to act surprise because she didn’t tell her husband. They were having a party. It was summer time. His parents came to visit, showering their grandchildren with love and affection. And of course, their great-grandson was the star of the show.

Shiro let everyone have a good time. He recalled the message he sent to Lance before starting the party.

 

**I’m throwing a party at Arus Park, celebrating the start of summer. My whole family will be there. You’re welcome to come, if you wish to.**

He really hoped he’d stop by. It’d make what he had to say much more poignant, but he could also do this alone. Just like Lance was fully capable of taking care of himself on his own.

“This party is great,” his mom insisted. “A wonderful day to have one, too.”

“Right,” Shiro grinned. “And I have a surprise for everyone.”

He looked over at the parking lot. He didn’t see Lance. He wasn’t coming…

He had to take a deep breath. Calm his nerves… He had to remind himself that he could do this. He was a coward in his youth, but he knew he had the courage to do this now.

Soon he had everyone’s undivided attention. This was twenty-two years too late, but he could do this… he could do this. His parents were staring at him. His children were curious and for once not preoccupied. Mina was giving him a smile of encouragement.

And lastly, Allura… He knew she wouldn’t be hurt by this revelation. In fact, there was a possibility that she always knew. But Shiro loved her. That was what mattered to her. That was all the support from her that he needed.

Shiro gulped. “When I was finishing up college, I made a choice. Mom and Dad knew this choice. And I thought it was the right one at the time, but I couldn’t be more wrong.”

“Takashi, what are you talking about?”

He could feel the nerves leaving his body, and he let some loose with a brisk shrug. “I’m gay.”

His son-in-law did a spit take, and it was like his kids didn’t believe him at first. The one person in the group that genuinely looked angry was his father.

“Shiro…” His mother frowned. “If it’s about that boy—”

“Yes. It _is_ about him,” he said immediately. “I don’t regret marrying Allura and having my family, but you took him away from me. I _let_ you take him away from me.”

His father stood up. This was probably the most Shiro had see him emote in over a decade. “You talked nonsense then, and you’re talking nonsense now. You can’t corrupt your children and your grandchild with this… this _lifestyle!_ I won’t allow it.”

“I’m not corrupting anything,” he muttered. “This is who I am. And I’m not hiding it anymore.”

“You’re an _old man._ Stop trying to push this phase on us. It’s beneath you!”

“Gramps?” Mina looked over with a glare. “Shut up.”

Shiro continued talking, this time to his children. “His name was Lance. He was my first love. I was too afraid of losing my family that I let my parents choose for me. I broke his heart, and I’ll never have him again. Don’t ever let me do the same to you. Your happiness is more important than whatever I have to say.” He fought back tears. “And no matter what… know this. I never, ever regretted marrying your mother and raising you guys.”

Lucas was the first to speak up. He looked shaken and nervous. “Then… I guess Gramps has no right to make choices for me either. Because I’m gay, too.”

Shiro’s face softened, and he hurried to hold his son. They both had courage. Nothing was going to keep either of them from living how they want to live.

His parents watched the display. His father looked disgusted, holding his wife’s hand. “We’re leaving. You’re no son of mine.”

If he’d said that back then, Shiro would do anything to get his respect back. But now, he was standing his ground, nodding with a grin. “Good.”

Mina, Luca, and his other two children: Andrea and Ryu, held him tight in a group hug. It was all a pile of emotions. Shiro felt like this love was deserved. He felt brave. He felt _whole._ He realized that _this_ was what Lance wanted from him.

But then his phone rang. It was Hunk.

“Hello?”

 _“Thank god, you answered!”_ he gasped. _“Lance is in the hospital.”_

His blood ran cold. He was shaking all over, just from that sentence alone.

_“It’s killing him, Shiro. The chemo’s not working fast enough. They’re doing an emergency operation. But… they don’t think he’ll make it through the night.”_

No. Shiro was too late. He couldn’t be there for Lance. He never could. He didn’t deserve him. Soon he hung up, and everyone noticed his grave expression.

“Lance… he’s very sick. He’s dying.”

“So, go to him!” Mina gasped.

He shook his head. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can! Don’t chicken out again, Dad!” She took his arms. “Go to him!”

“Yeah, Dad, go!” Lucas insisted.

It was all in tunnel vision now. Everyone was encouraging him to go. He had to. He rushed to the hospital as fast as he legally could.

It was just like losing his wife all over again. But he needed to be strong for Lance. He needed to be there for him. He was not a coward. He was a support system.

He arrived and waited for hours with Hunk. Still no word on how he was doing. It was eating him alive.

“A-all I wanted from him was to be forgiven,” he said shakily. “He had every right to hate me or never talk to me again, b-but I wanted his forgiveness. I missed him so much. And now…” He choked up and hid his face.

Hunk rubbed his back. “I think he would’ve loved that.”

“I came out to my family today… It felt like this huge weight was off my shoulders. I wanted to introduce him to everyone…”

He was asking me if he should go to the park today,” he said. “I’d told him that maybe he should. But… he’d decided not to.”

He trembled more. “I understand… h-he has every right to do that. I never deserved to have him.”

\--

 _He’d cried himself to sleep, waiting_ for the doctor to come out. But they never did. He’d woken up hours later, slumped against the wall and feeling every joint in his body ache from the position. But when he looked over his shoulder, Hunk wasn’t there.

He hurried and looked around for him. From the corner of his eye he saw him, talking to a doctor. He shot right up and hurried.

“What happened?” he gasped. “Is he okay?”

_Please, let him be okay._

She looked at him. “His organs were shutting down, so we had to surgically remove the tumor. Vitals didn’t start improving until we extracted it.”

His eyes widened. “So, he…”

“He’s in remission. He’s in the ICU, and we’re keeping him there for forty-eight hours.”

His face lit up, and he could feel more tears running down his face. Lance was okay. He was going to be okay…

“Can we see him?” Hunk asked nervously.

“Yes. But no high tension. Lance needs to rest.”

No high tension…

Shiro shouldn’t see him.

“I’ll take you to him.” She started to lead the way down to the ward.

Shiro stayed with his feet planted firmly. But Hunk looked back.

“Nu-uh.” He took his hand and forced him to walk. “Let’s go.”

“Hunk…”

“Hell no! You’re gonna go in there and tell him everything you told me. He’s been waiting for this apology for twenty-two years.”

Shiro was so nervous, his anxiety rising as they moved closer and closer to Lance’s room.

He was awake.

Lance’s hair was still in awkward bald patches. He was too embarrassed to ask someone to shave his head. He looked so weak in the bed. If Shiro were to touch him, he’d shatter into a million pieces.

“Hunk…” his voice was soft as he smiled. “Hey.”

“Hey, Lance,” he grinned. “You look great.”

“You don’t have to lie to me, Hunk.” His eyes then focused on Shiro, and his brows furrowed. “…What’s he doing here?”

“Lance, just let him talk,” Hunk insisted. “I wouldn’t bring him in here if he was trying to wrong you.”

Shiro was nervous. He knew he needed to talk to him, but he was already concerned that Lance would just turn him away. But that was when he realized that although he proved he wasn’t a coward to his parents, he needed to prove it to Lance himself.

“Lance…” His voice was shaky. “I-I’m so glad you’re okay.”

He nodded and stayed lying back. “I am, too.”

Shiro had to process what he was going to say in his head. “It was scary and long overdue, but I… I came out to my family.”

“What?” He looked skeptical. “Your… _whole_ family?”

He nodded. “My parents. My kids… My son-in-law even spat out his drink while I did it. That was why I wanted to invite you to the park. I was coming out to them there.”

Lance’s hands were shaking as he tried to sit up, but Hunk made him stay lying down.

“You… w-wow.” His eyes were lighting up. “What did you tell them?”

He swallowed thickly. “I told them that I never regretted having my children, but I was angry with my parents for them taking you away from me. A-and the fact that I let them take you away from me.” His voice grew shakier. “And I told my children that I was not allowed to ruin their own chances of happiness. And my youngest son, Lucas… He came out to me.”

“Oh my god…” Lance’s smile started to grow. “I’m sure your parents were pissed.”

“My father disowned me,” he chuckled. “I wish I’d told him to fuck off.”

The conversation grew further. They started catching up on everything they’d missed during their time apart. Lance wrote many successful articles before he was forced to go on leave. Shiro saved enough money to last him and his family a long while if anything were to happen. For once, he felt… okay. He felt like he was at home.

Hunk kept up with conversations, too, telling Lance about the different memories he had with his own children and Keith back at home. Lance stayed relaxed in the hospital bed, shaking and for once not feeling so alone. He felt safe, like he was going to be okay.

“Thank you… for letting me come visit you,” Shiro said.

Lance smiled weakly. “Of course…”

He nodded and sat up. “Okay. I should get going. It was a pleasure talking to you again. If you ever need me, give me a call.”

The tension was being lifted, and he smiled a bit while he was heading out the door.

“Wait.”

Shiro looked back, drying his eyes. “What?”

“Shiro, I… I-I forgive you.”

He felt his heart soar. Smiling wider, he shifted by the door. “Thank you. T-thank you, Lance.”

Lance watched him. “You’ll come back to visit me… right?”

“Of course. I can come back tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” He relaxed and waved weakly. “Okay… It’s a date.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

_“He’s so precious.”_

_Lance was now_ in a more comfortable room resting, holding Shiro’s grandson in his arms. There were several close calls before he was able to leave the ICU, but Shiro was right there through it all. Through all the tears, all the pain… He cried most nights when the pain was at its worst, but as the days passed, it was dwindling and he felt more peaceful.

“Small, isn’t he?” Shiro grinned, helping Lance keep the baby’s head upright.

Mina watched from a distance and smiled. “I think he likes you.”

“He’s just so lovable.”

“Oh, stop,” Lance blushed a giggled a bit.

Lucas, Ryu, and Andrea were also in the room, watching them with a smile.

Lance hadn’t felt this close to a family in a long time. Shiro more than willingly made him a part of it. Their relationship had a rocky start, but they were working on it every day.

His hands were standing to shake, so Mina took her son back. Shiro used that to hold Lance close now that his arms were free, lying beside him and making him feel warmer.

Lucas watched them in awe. “I hope to have that someday.”

Lance looked up and smiled. “Then make sure you meet a good man. And also, don’t let him pull the BS that your father pulled with me.”

“Lance.” Shiro laughed a bit and rubbed his back.

Andrea laughed. “Dad, you’re far too sappy.”

“As far as I’m concerned, he can be as sappy as he wants.” Lance rested his head on Shiro’s shoulder.

The couple had a moment alone after Shiro’s children left to get lunch. Shiro gently ran his hand over his partner’s bald scalp.

“I miss my hair,” Lance pouted, closing his eyes.

“It’ll grow back,” he crooned, kissing his forehead. “I’ll be right there to make sure it grows in nice and soft.”

He smiled weakly and held his shoulders. “Now, gimme a kiss.”

“Of course,” he hummed and leaned down to kiss his lips. It was careful and sweet, and they had this soft moment together, after a long and grueling storm.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://gabriel-the-cryptid.tumblr.com)   
>  [twitter](http://twitter.com/PaladinGabe)


End file.
